2014 - The Year of Patience

(L to R) Siddheswara Swamy Temple in Solapur, Mahabalipuram, Coorg, Mauritius, Undersea walking, Bathukamma

The Chinese name their New Year. For example, 2015 is the Year of Sheep. I thought of naming the old year, based on my experiences.  

For me, 2014 is the Year of Patience. 2014 has taught me that my predictions about future have a 50-50 % chance of occurrence.

As a recent graduate, I was used to routine. I knew the schedule of exams, when they take place, what is the syllabus etc. I could also guess the outcome of the exam. I realized that in life, the date of exams and the syllabus is unpredictable. I will be tested when I least expect it. I cannot guess the topic of the test nor the outcome.

I am thankful for all the places that I visited this year. Each place had something to take away.

In February, my hubby and I visited our relatives in Mumbai & Solapur. 

In April, we went to Coorg. I experienced homestay for the first time. I understood that homestays are decent.

In August, we visited Mauritius. I learned about overcoming fear. I did parasailing, undersea walking and almost touched a Lion.

In November, I went to Fisherman’s Cove and Mahabalipuram on a team offsite. Now that our team has a critical mass of women, I discovered the sisterhood of working women.

In December, I went to Delhi for a conference. The food in Delhi is out of this world. I will do a week long historical and food trip in Delhi, sometime in future.

I am thankful for the wonderful time I spent with my husband and my family.

I am thankful for my new writing project. I took the decision of splitting the blog based on the number of hits I got for posts. One blog will be dedicated to my stories and other to my life experiences.

 I will start 2015 with a new blog site.

Thanks to my hubby for buying a domain in my name (hint). I bought a blog theme on wordpress. I thought the old posts will magically reorganize themselves as per the theme. They did not! It took a lot more effort than I expected, but I thoroughly enjoyed the process of creating a new home from scratch.

I am sad about the accidents in general, on road and by air.

A few accidents happened to people who are close to me. I pray that they will have the strength to come out of these tough situations.

Ciao! See you in 2015 on a new blog site. Wishing you a great year ahead.  

In case you have missed. These are my top 5 posts in 2014. 

1) Poor Husbands
2) Management Lesson from the Kitchen
3) Telangana - The Birth of 29th State of India
4) Changing India - One Ad at a Time
5) People Say Something Do Something

3 Reasons Why You Need a Hobby

The New Year is around the corner. You should be itching to come up with resolutions for 2015. Here are three reasons why you should renew your passion for a hobby and include it as one of the resolutions. 

#1: Hobbies could help you find the right life partner

In India, arranged marriages are a complicated affair. It is a slow-date between you, your could-be life partner, parents, aunts and uncles from the girl's and the boy's side. 

In between all the hocus-pocus, the boy and the girl will have about 10-15 minutes to take a major life decision. One of the icebreakers during these life-altering conversations is ‘What are your hobbies?’ The boy and the girl scratch their heads to come up an innovative hobby, other than watching TV.

If your hobbies match, that is a good start to keep the conversation going. If all goes well, the conversation can end in a marriage. 

#2: Hobbies are good sources for relaxation

I pursued multiple hobbies as a kid. I used to paint, read, write and prepare greeting cards for near and dear. As a kid, these hobbies dissipated my energy and kept me off my mother’s back.

I pursue only two hobbies now. They are reading and blogging. I am blogging for almost two years now. A good blog post is like a mini-vacation. It rejuvenates me and prepares me to get back to work. I enjoy thinking about the post, writing it and posting it. I will be excited that day about that great blog post. 

#3: Hobbies are bridges of learning between work and personal life.

There are instances when a learning from my professional life seeps into my hobby and vice versa. Whenever there is a simplification drive at my workplace, I think about how to simplify my blog and make it more attractive. 

I am taking an online blogging course. I learned about how to make a blog post reader-friendly. I apply the same principle when I write work emails. I try to write emails which are succinct.

Hobbies also build personal connect in professional relationships and help in networking.

Now you know all the advantages of having a hobby. It is the right time to pick a hobby, learn and grow. 

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Collage created from different images. Sources of images.

camera Photo Credit: _Tophee_ via Compfight cc painting Photo Credit: TonalLuminosity via Compfight cc stamps Photo Credit: TonalLuminosity via Compfight cc books Photo Credit: Jacqui 1686 via Compfight cc running Photo Credit: bgill02 via Compfight cc

The place where memories are created

A grandmother’s house is the place where memories are created. It is also the place of unbridled freedom, generous kisses and an unhealthy dose of pampering. After the weekend visits to my grandmother’s home, my mother had to un-pamper me.

I remember my grandmother’s home to be small. The garden which led to the house was big. The walkway to the house was lined with flowering plants. The plants came up to my height. I broke the branches from these plants, made a bow and arrow and tested how far the arrow flew.                                                                                                                                                              

I also kept a watch on the ants in the garden. I observed the big black ants crawl in long twisty lines, with a piece of food, twice their size. I obtained great pleasure in disrupting the line and maiming the ants. I was an ant and plant bully back then.

 

My other memories in that house were taking afternoon naps with my grandmother. She told stories about how Lord Krishna fought the demons. She dozed off in between. I woke her up and pestered her to complete the story.

I hunted for non-serious books in my grandfather’s library. He had a few abridged and illustrated classics. These books were about 100 pages, with pictures on alternate pages. I read the books like Tom Sawyer, The Hunchback of Notre Dame and the The Invisible Man from my grandfather’s library.

I realize now that my grandfather bought these books for me and allowed me to discover them in the book hunt. He also had a rule that the books cannot be borrowed. I had to read them during my time there. I looked forward to another visit to complete those books.

For my hubby’s birthday I wanted to give him the memory of his grandmother’s house as a present. He told me that his grandmother’s house was made of clay tiles and had a big open space in the center of the house. I found a resort which fit that description.

We went to Angana Country Inn. The inn is built with the theme of a grandmother’s house. There was a big spacious garden in front of the house. The house had open space in the center and was decorated with antiques. The food tasted homely. It was a great place to unwind and relax. 

The open space in the center of the house. That's me sitting there.

The Hall on one side of house

View of the garden

The entrance to the house

View of the garden from the house

The Hall on the other side of the House

A gramophone. How antique is that?

The play area. It looks like a still from an Indian horror movie. 

How Social Media Helped Me During Stressful Times

Featured Image Photo Credit: mkhmarketing via Compfight cc

Life is made of ‘ups’ and ‘downs’. Social media helped me during both the good and the bad times.

How did I use social media to my advantage?

During good times, I posted pictures on Facebook, to preserve the memories. During bad times, I sought the solace of a few blogs and the latest fads on social media. This trend of taking comfort in social media started during my PhD.

My PhD was a 5.5 year long brain and body-building exercise. Running the experiments was stressful.

I had to run experiments in a lab which was always heated to 80-100 F (The lab was heated to discipline the equipment). I had to stay in that environment for 12-14 hours per day, slide 50-100 pound equipment and lift 20 pound weights, at least 10-20 times per day. This schedule continued for 2-3 months at a stretch.

My only solaces during that time were two things. 

1) I can eat whatever I want and not put on weight 

2) Social media. 

Food blogs were my fad from 2010-2012. I frequently visited a few food blogs and drooled at pictures of food.

The pictures of  food reminded me that life was colourful as well, with different shades.

Sunday afternoons was the only free time I got. I watched recipes of Indian food on youtube, cooked and enjoyed a delicious dinner. Food blogs and youtube helped me get by the penultimate year of my PhD (other than support of my family, colleagues and real-friends).

Shifting gears from the past to the present…

This year, my latest fad is Pinterest.  Pinterest is a site where people post pictures of interesting stuff they find online. I am addicted to the quotes section on Pinterest. People post random life quotes in this section.

Life quotes taught me that life is a taskmaster and a strict teacher. All I can do is be a humble student and note down the lessons, so that I don't repeat the same mistakes.  

I dug up this beautiful poem about life on Pinterest. I hope that you find it inspiring.

Don’t Quit

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,

When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill

When the funds are low and the debts are high,

And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit –

Rest if you must, but don’t quit.

Life is strange with its twists and turns,

As every one of us sometimes learns,

And many a fellow turns about

When he might have won had he stuck it out.

Don’t give up though the pace seems slow –

You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than

It seems to a fair and faltering man,

Often the struggler had given up

When he might have captured the victor’s cup,

And he learned too late when night came down,

How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is a failure turned inside out –

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt

And you never can tell how close you are,

It may be near when it seems afar,

So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit,-

It’s when things seem worst that you mustn’t quit.

AUTHOR UNKNOWN.

Food pictures from my favorite blogs in 2010-2012.

Image from  http://www.cannellevanille.com/gluten-free/where-the-apple-trees-are/

Image from http://www.tarteletteblog.com/2011/08/recipes-gluten-free-conchiglie-with.html

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2 Self-Defense Lessons for Women

I did my PhD in Chicago. During my PhD, I took three semesters of self-defense classes. The instructor was a middle aged white male, with a bald head and a strong grip. He taught us two lessons of life.

          1.  Play the survivor, not the victim.

He wanted all the women, who attended the class to takeaway one message. ‘If you are in a compromising situation, fight with all you have got. If something bad happens to you, you will be able to live with yourself, knowing that you did all you could, to escape from that situation.’

         2. Show no mercy on the attacker.

We practiced one self-defense technique every semester. He grabbed us, dragged us, lifted us, pulled us with our hair and choked us with his bare hands. We had to escape from those situations. As the semester progressed, we perfected the technique. A few sessions would be so intense, that he had to clap on the floor three times to escape from us. That was our cue to stop practicing the technique. In such situations, the ‘sorry’ genes of women used to kick in. A few of us, involuntarily told him 'sorry' after the attack. Even though both of us would be tired after the attack, he pounced on us. That was our lesson, ‘Never say sorry to your attacker, no matter who he/she is.’

Do we find any real-life examples of women who practiced these two lessons?

Yes, the Rohtak sisters. The initial version of the story said that they fought back against molestors on a bus. They played a survivor and showed no mercy towards the attacker. The later versions of the stories brand these two sisters as cheap women who go around beating men for no reason.

Before you start bitch-ifying the sisters, I ask you to take into account these two generic facts about Indians.

1.      The behavior of a man is 100 % certified. He can do no wrong. The behavior of a woman is 0% certified. Her character is always questionable & malign able.
2.      We Indians, never recognize the merit of our fellow Indians. We recognize only if a U.S. based agency recognizes them and gives an award. Then we all want to bask in the limelight of fellow Indian-ness.

I want the Rohtak sisters to be given the bravery award. Why?

I am tired of all the rape victim stories in the media. We need survivor stories. This incident is the right survivor story to make that transition.

The Rohtak Sisters

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Image from http://www.tupaki.com/news/view/Haryana-govt-puts-award-for-Rohtak-sisters-on-hold/83417

Can you be happier than what you are right now?

The ultimate goal in life is to be happy. Everybody has a base level of happiness. No matter how happy or how sad we are, we eventually return to that baseline. The baseline of happiness is dictated by psychological and sometimes socio-economic factors. Our busy and stressful lives are taking us farther and farther from our baseline, without giving us enough time to return to it. What can be done about that?

Couple of months ago, I read the book, 'The Happiness Project', by Gretchen Rubin. The author wanted to become happier than what she was. She researched about happiness and tried one theme for every month, for a year. She dedicated one month to decluttering, one month to enriching relationships, one month for gratitude and so on. When I read this book, I decided to practice one theme. I chose gratitude. Can practicing gratitude make me happier than what I am?

I have been maintaining a gratitude diary for almost two months now. I write about three things/moments that I am thankful for everyday. On good days, I am thankful for the interactions I have with my husband, my family members and my colleagues. On bad days, I am thankful for the food I eat. There are also a few silly things I am thankful for. For instance, when I listen to an old favorite song playing on the radio or when I bite into a delicious piece of chocolate. 

Has my happiness increased? Maybe. But, I see some changes in my behavior. I worry about a lot of things. I still do. But ever since I started the gratitude diary, the time span of worrying has reduced at least by 3 times (I am in process of writing my performance appraisal so bear this language). The gratitude habit has helped me get out of the worry cycle by being positive. I am getting to my baseline level of happiness sooner. 

I encourage you to maintain a gratitude diary. It is not at all time-taking. Write 3 to 5 sentences about what you are thankful for everyday. There are many writing apps, like Evernote or Google Notes, which can be downloaded on phone. These apps automatically sync the notes on the internet. It is a simple and inexpensive way to boost happiness. 

Photo Credit: abhiomkar via Compfight cc

Bengaluru Traffic Chronicles - The Tit-for-Tat Dude

Bengaluru is a city known for its perfect weather. The city is also notorious for its traffic. My favorite traffic story is, 'I take 45 minutes to drive 3 km. My husband also takes the same amount of time to drive 15 km.' The non-linearity in time vs. distance is because I have to take a right turn at the badass, 'Graphite India Junction (GIJ)', to go to office. 

Over these two years, I have gained some traffic gyaan. I observed that at the junctions, a few people have psychic knowledge of the traffic signals. Even before the signal turns green, they start honking. When I encounter such a situation, I willfully move slowly the first few seconds to raise the blood pressure of the driver behind me. 

I met a tit-for-tat dude yesterday morning, who raised my blood pressure, and hence his blog post. I was waiting at the GIJ for the signal to turn green. The signal turned green. All the vehicles started moving except for the car in front of me.

I waited for 3 seconds without honking. The car in front of me started moving backwards. I realized that the guy did not know that he was at an inclination. The car was slowly inching towards my car. I gave a long honk, concerned that his car will smooch mine. This dude looked at me from his rear-view mirror and took his own sweet time to move. I understood that he wanted to drive home a lessson, 'Be patient at traffic signals. You are not losing much time if I don't move.' My honk was misunderstood. 

I know that there are plans to organize a Kiss of Love campaign in Bengaluru this weekend. That is not an excuse for your car to kiss mine. It is infectious to our wallets and morning peace. On top of it, this dude got to take a right turn, whereas the signal turned red, just when I was about to take a right turn. I had to wait for another 7 minutes. Time does matter.

Over this whole episode, the learner dude behind me waited patiently without honking and tried to analyze the situation with a perplexed expression. I hope that we will all have the patience of a learner but drive like an expert.    

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On a similar note, the Whitefield Traffic Police Samaritans are redirecting traffic at the Graphite India Junction, starting today (22 Nov 2014). Take time to notice how your route might change. I hope this little plan of theirs works out and I will be home in 10 minutes. 

The picture says, final option. I wonder what their other options were.