Can you be happier than what you are right now?

The ultimate goal in life is to be happy. Everybody has a base level of happiness. No matter how happy or how sad we are, we eventually return to that baseline. The baseline of happiness is dictated by psychological and sometimes socio-economic factors. Our busy and stressful lives are taking us farther and farther from our baseline, without giving us enough time to return to it. What can be done about that?

Couple of months ago, I read the book, 'The Happiness Project', by Gretchen Rubin. The author wanted to become happier than what she was. She researched about happiness and tried one theme for every month, for a year. She dedicated one month to decluttering, one month to enriching relationships, one month for gratitude and so on. When I read this book, I decided to practice one theme. I chose gratitude. Can practicing gratitude make me happier than what I am?

I have been maintaining a gratitude diary for almost two months now. I write about three things/moments that I am thankful for everyday. On good days, I am thankful for the interactions I have with my husband, my family members and my colleagues. On bad days, I am thankful for the food I eat. There are also a few silly things I am thankful for. For instance, when I listen to an old favorite song playing on the radio or when I bite into a delicious piece of chocolate. 

Has my happiness increased? Maybe. But, I see some changes in my behavior. I worry about a lot of things. I still do. But ever since I started the gratitude diary, the time span of worrying has reduced at least by 3 times (I am in process of writing my performance appraisal so bear this language). The gratitude habit has helped me get out of the worry cycle by being positive. I am getting to my baseline level of happiness sooner. 

I encourage you to maintain a gratitude diary. It is not at all time-taking. Write 3 to 5 sentences about what you are thankful for everyday. There are many writing apps, like Evernote or Google Notes, which can be downloaded on phone. These apps automatically sync the notes on the internet. It is a simple and inexpensive way to boost happiness. 

Photo Credit: abhiomkar via Compfight cc

Bengaluru Traffic Chronicles - The Tit-for-Tat Dude

Bengaluru is a city known for its perfect weather. The city is also notorious for its traffic. My favorite traffic story is, 'I take 45 minutes to drive 3 km. My husband also takes the same amount of time to drive 15 km.' The non-linearity in time vs. distance is because I have to take a right turn at the badass, 'Graphite India Junction (GIJ)', to go to office. 

Over these two years, I have gained some traffic gyaan. I observed that at the junctions, a few people have psychic knowledge of the traffic signals. Even before the signal turns green, they start honking. When I encounter such a situation, I willfully move slowly the first few seconds to raise the blood pressure of the driver behind me. 

I met a tit-for-tat dude yesterday morning, who raised my blood pressure, and hence his blog post. I was waiting at the GIJ for the signal to turn green. The signal turned green. All the vehicles started moving except for the car in front of me.

I waited for 3 seconds without honking. The car in front of me started moving backwards. I realized that the guy did not know that he was at an inclination. The car was slowly inching towards my car. I gave a long honk, concerned that his car will smooch mine. This dude looked at me from his rear-view mirror and took his own sweet time to move. I understood that he wanted to drive home a lessson, 'Be patient at traffic signals. You are not losing much time if I don't move.' My honk was misunderstood. 

I know that there are plans to organize a Kiss of Love campaign in Bengaluru this weekend. That is not an excuse for your car to kiss mine. It is infectious to our wallets and morning peace. On top of it, this dude got to take a right turn, whereas the signal turned red, just when I was about to take a right turn. I had to wait for another 7 minutes. Time does matter.

Over this whole episode, the learner dude behind me waited patiently without honking and tried to analyze the situation with a perplexed expression. I hope that we will all have the patience of a learner but drive like an expert.    

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On a similar note, the Whitefield Traffic Police Samaritans are redirecting traffic at the Graphite India Junction, starting today (22 Nov 2014). Take time to notice how your route might change. I hope this little plan of theirs works out and I will be home in 10 minutes. 

The picture says, final option. I wonder what their other options were. 

People Say Something, Do Something

During my marriage hunt, my father learned an important lesson. He passed that lesson to me. He said, 'People say something, do something'. 

Couple of weeks ago I read the book, ‘Think like a Freak’, by Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner. I was surprised that there is a similar principle in economics, which mirrored what my father said. ‘People often say one thing and do another, or more precisely, we will say what we think other people want to hear and then in private do what we want’. In economics these are known as declared preferences and revealed preferences. There is often a hefty gap between the two.

Declared and revealed preferences become important when designing incentives. It involves a lot of effort to figure out the right incentives because, ‘People say something, do something else.’ The authors give several examples when an incentive backfired. One example was the cobra effect.

A British Lord in colonial India thought that there are too many cobras in Delhi. He offered cash for cobra skin. Indians bred and slaughtered cobras to cash the bounty. People will do everything they can to game the system, so rather being cross at their acts, appreciate their ingenuity and design a more clever incentive.

The other principle that is valid in today’s world is about failing fast, failing cheap and failing smart, on the path to success. We view quitting as being cowardly, but it is important to know when to quit.

The authors discuss about the sunk-cost fallacy or the Concorde fallacy, named after the supersonic airplane. The British and French Governments suspected that the Concorde was not economically viable but had spent too many billions to stop. It is tempting to believe that once you have invested heavily in something it is counterproductive to quit. So the next time, you are in a theatre, watching a boring movie, don’t waste anymore time watching it. You cannot get your money back, but at least you can save time.  

I enjoyed reading this book. The Freakonomics and Superfreakonomics authors came up with another great book. I recommend it for reading. 

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Image from www.businsessinsider.com

Fisherman's Cove, Chennai and Mamallapuram (Mahabalipuram)

'The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears or the sea', as quoted by Karen Blixen, a Danish author. 

Recently, I had the opportunity to visit Fisherman's Cove and Mahabalipuram, on a team offsite. This quote clung to my brain during the time I spent at Fisherman's Cove. No matter how many times I go to a beach, I am always amazed by the vastness of the sea, the mysteries beneath it and the power it holds in its waves. I am also soothed by the touch of the grainy sand beneath my feet and the steady hum of the waves, like the heartbeat of the sea. We stayed at Fisherman's Cove, on the first day of the trip.

On the second day we went on a day trip to Mahabalipuram. It is also known as Mamallapuram. We visited the Shore Temple, Krishna's Butter Ball and another monument at Mahabalipuram. The guide at Shore Temple mentioned that the Shore Temple has been standing for 1300 years. The locals feel proud that the Tsunami in 2004, has not affected the Shore Temple, but rather revealed new ruins. 

There were many vendors at the entrance of the Shore Temple. Most of them sold multi-colored chains and they were persistent in their quest of finding a buyer. When one of my colleagues who is a North Indian said that he does not want to buy anything in Kannada, the seller demanded in Hindi, that he should speak Tamil. Well, I guess it will take a little bit more time for the Tamilians to forgive the Kannadigas after the recent Amma jail episode.

The trip ended with lunch at Sarvana Bhavan and return trip to Bangalore in the Shatabdi Express. Tamil sambar is indeed tasty and different. The train journey was comfortable. Sometimes, I got the feeling that I was in a flight. The texture of the seats, the arrangement of the seats, the luggage racks on the top, the food service and the good suspension system of the train gave me a false in-flight experience.   

On the whole it was a great trip with the team!

Fisherman's Cove. Apt to it's name, a fisherman was fishing in the evening. 

The beach at Fisherman's Cove.

Vivanta by Taj at Fisherman's Cove.

The Shore Temple at Mahabalipuram

The newly found ruins after the 2004 Tsunami

The sculptures inside the Shore Temple

Arjuna's Penance

Krishna's Butter Ball. The stone stands on an inclination without rolling down

A temple at Mahabalipuram

Lunch at Sarvana Bhavan, close to Chennai

The Birthday Gift - Part 2

Read Part 1 of the story here.

After Tom cleaned the room, he went to take a look at the Bonsai. He was surprised to see that the torn branch was attached to the stem with a white tape. He thought, ‘Mom should’ve done it.’ He touched the part with an intention to break it again. As soon as he did that, the tree opened his eyes, shouted, ‘Don’t do it!’, and almost bit Tom’s hand. Tom jumped back with fright. The trunk of the Bonsai shriveled and expanded as it spoke. 

The Bonsai shouted, ‘You harm me. I bite you', and showed its sharp wooden teeth.

A Bonsai that speaks! Tom mumbled, ‘You can speak!’

‘You bet!’

‘Do you…do you have a name?’

‘Biter’

‘Did my uncle make you?’

Tom’s uncle was a scientist. He remembered that the last time, he visited his lab; he was working around many plants.

‘Yes, made for you. I heard you hurt plants. Made to teach lesson.’

Tom swiped the sweat off his brow. The Bonsai shouted, ‘Water, water, water me or I bite you.’

Tom ran to the kitchen to fetch water. 

His mother asked, ‘Good morning Tom. What’s the hurry?’ 

Tom gasped and said, ‘The Bonsai, it speaks. It bites. Have to go. It needs water’, and left with a jug of water.

On the radio a man’s voice boomed. He said, ‘It was a routine day. I went to the forest preserve to cut a tree. I raised my axe. The tree’s branches snatched the axe from my hand. They wrapped around my neck and tried to kill me. I wiggled away from its grip. I was lucky.’ A woman’s voice said, ‘The trees are against us. The Government has to be blamed for creating these blood-thirsty creatures, in the name of self-defending trees.’

Tom’s mother reduced the volume on the radio. Her brother designed the perfect pet for Tom. A pet that barked orders.

The End.

The Biter

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Image from google images

The Birthday Gift - Part 1

It was Tom’s birthday. His mother decorated the home with balloons. Tom turned eight years old that day. He sat in front of his cake, with a knife in his hand. It had white icing, chocolate chips and seven colorful candles. His friends poured in with gifts. Tom’s uncle came as well. He had a huge gift in his hand. Tom couldn’t wait to cut the cake and open the presents. He cut the cake as everybody sang the birthday song. The cake was devoured within minutes.

After everybody left, Tom opened his presents. He got a remote controlled car, a small slate that sang rhymes, a Lego box set, a baseball bat and ball and a few other gifts, which he realized could have been recycled from their friends’ birthday gifts. Tom tried to lift  his uncle's gift, but it was too heavy for him. The cardboard box had big holes on four sides. He tore away the cover and wondered if it was a pet. He wanted a beagle.  

Tom opened the cardboard box. He found a Bonsai inside the box. Tom was disappointed. His mother looked at the gift and said, ‘Oh look! What a pretty Bonsai your uncle gave you. Let me help you carry it to your room. Let us keep it near the window so that it gets enough light to grow.’

Tom pushed the Bonsai away from him and said, ‘I want a puppy.’

Tom’s mother replied, ‘I know it my dear. A puppy will be a lot of work for me.’

‘No, it will not! I will feed it. I will take it for walks. I will clean up after it. There is no need for you to do any extra work.’

Tom’s mother ran her hand across his blond hair, which always pointed up, and looked into his big brown eyes. She said, ‘I know how much you want it. Let’s make a deal. You keep your room clean all year and I will get you a beagle next year.’

Tom’s mother took the Bonsai to his room, and placed it near the window. Tom was angry. His uncle should have understood better. He took out his anger on the Bonsai and tore a small branch, when his mother wasn't looking. Tom went to sleep, thinking about a name for his imaginary pet beagle.

The next morning when Tom woke up, he found mud tracks in his room, as though something walked around the room with wet muddy shoes. He wondered who that could be. He followed the tracks. They went all around his bed, to his cabinet where he stored his toys. All the toys were thrown around. For a moment, Tom speculated, if it was a thief, who came in from his window. Why would the thief search in his toy cupboard? May be one of his friends’ played a prank on him. Whatever the reason, he had to clean up the room before his mother saw it; otherwise his pet would be delayed by another year.

To be continued...Part 2 tomorrow.

The Bonsai, which Tom got as his birthday gift.

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Image from google images