Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Poor Husbands!

Being a feminist, I never saw this article coming. But here it is!

I heard this, from a person I admire. A casual banter went into an unusual direction. He asked me, 'On which side of the bed do you sleep?'
'In the middle'.
He asked another friend of mine, 'Which side do you sleep?'
My friend replied, 'Right, always to the right. Left is my girlfriend's territory'
After he heard the answer from my friend, he said, 'I sleep on the right. Even when nobody is there with me. When I date women, I tell them, ''I am domesticated. No need to put any additional effort''. Years of training by my ex-girlfriend'

It is during the domestication process, that I feel bad for my husband. He has one nagging wife who points out when he puts up his feet on the sofa, if he has delicious chocolates and leaves the wrappers around, if he throws his laptop bag around and leaves the the burnt matchsticks any other place than the dustbin after he does the puja.

A similar tiff happens, when he makes tea, omelette or cuts the mangoes. I complain mangoes are not perfectly cut, too much flesh is on the seed  or the tea does not have enough sugar. When he makes a omelette, I complain about the gooey liquid that spills in the crime scene. I occupy 3/4th of the closet space and gave him just 1/4 th of it. Unfortunately he had to share 1/3rd of space in that 1/4th space, as time went by, to accommodate my handbags . After, all these things he does for me, I still complain. I am not a thankful wife.

The problem is that women are perfectionists. We are trained to be like that. If we cook and don't clean up, our mothers are behind our backs, 'Who is going to clean up for you?', they ask. We reluctantly start cleaning. Another fresh dose of scoldings awaited for me if I misplaced my bag or left empty chips packet cover anywhere. The training gets imprinted in our psyche. Unfortunately, men never have their moms behind their backs, asking them to clean up. Cooking, itself is a great thing, so where does the issue of cleaning even come? It is this uneven training when it comes to household cleaning affairs, that gets manifested  later in the domestication process.

I give almost all the husbands', the credit for the extra closet space, they share it with their wives'. Women should not be perfectionists and let husbands do whatever they can, appreciate them for the work they do and tell them how it can be done better. Let's take the domestication process a little bit easier!







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